In Mallorcan climes there are certain times of day
When all the expats repair to switch their TVs on and conspire
It’s one of those things these greatest fools obey
Because Sky is making publicity though Sky in Mallorca’s not a strictly legal way
The expats fawn when the actors take to bars having finished their cuts
Because they’re obviously, definitely, Nuts!
Mad Dogs for Englishmen with copies of their daily Sun
They take to the forums, pore over the press
I saw Simm, ah but I saw Max, and Glenister, he’s the one
For Englishmen sights of celebrities are something with which to impress
In London town they have presented Mad Dogs in full media glare
The Mallorca tourism foundation, several thousands of euros of support, was happy to be there
The expats swoon at news of the excitement this has done
Mad Dogs for Englishmen with copies of their daily Sun
It’s no surprise for the expats eyes to see
That the press will eat this hype and sycophantically treat
When the great Rupert rides, proportion there will not be
Because the simple expats are deflected from phone hacking and Richard Keys
It’s the usual rot showing beautiful Mallorca off that gets trot from tourism board and press lackies too
And the expats do agree as to not do simply would not do
In Mallorca any dissenting is seldom if ever done
For it’s Mad Dogs for Englishmen
With copies of their daily
Copies of their daily
Sky box strangely
Copies of their daily Sun
(With due acknowledgement to Noël Coward.)
* “Mad Dogs” will be on Sky from 10 February.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
AlcudiaPollensa2 