In A Wrong Place: Architecture

Alcúdia has some old ruins, and not just the Roman ones.

The long-abandoned Es Foguero nightclub has been home to vagrants and was the last resting-place of one: “El Gallego”, who was murdered there last summer. Even longer-abandoned is the original power station, the two chimneys of which stand less than proud on the landscape of the bay of Alcúdia.

The site of GESA’s former power station is meant to become a museum of science and technology. The cost has been put at 21 million euros.

In October 2007, a Pamplona-based architects practice, Alonso Hernández y Asociados, beat off competition from the likes of the Millennium Dome designer, Lord Rogers, in winning the pitch for the conversion of the site. The architects promised a concept called “el claro en el bosque” – the clearing in the forest.

What has since happened is that some clearance work has been undertaken, not directly related to the museum. The science and technology clearing in the forest may now never be built.

A year after the award to the Pamplona firm, there was a presentation of what the museum might be. It was made in Alcúdia’s auditorium. A presentation is as much as there has ever been. Even then it was being admitted that the finance for the project was not in place, and it still isn’t.

Economic crisis has caused a rethink of many public developments. If it causes there to be more thought applied to both the necessity and the architecture of some of these developments, then it will have been worth enduring.

There is some really rotten architecture in Mallorca, most of it contemporary. It is not rotten per se, but it is rotten because it has no sense of place. We might not ever know what the clearing in the forest will finally be like, but the inspiration was said to have come from the Tate Modern, the converted Bankside Power Station on London’s South Bank. Would this be appropriate for a tourist location on a bay of some not little outstanding beauty?

The auditorium was an apt building in which to hold the presentation of the museum. The puff maintains that the auditorium is of contemporary design. It may well be, but contemporary doesn’t mean remarkable, and this the auditorium most certainly isn’t. Moreover, it reflects in no way the historic walls of the town which stand opposite, while it has never operated at anything like capacity.

Similarly, the Can Ramis building in Alcúdia’s market square suffers from being under-utilised and from being a totally alien structure. Like much new residential architecture and an absurd building that has risen right on Pollensa’s Plaça Major and next to the church, it is symptomatic of how architects have seen the future – it is block-shaped and cuboidal.

Contemporary design does not have to be a mélange of competing styles. Anyone familiar with Bath’s SouthGate Centre will know that it is possible to merge the new with the old almost seamlessly, while still creating a highly modern feel, so much so that you have the impression of walking through a computer simulation.

Questionable both in design and in purpose. This has been the problem with some local building development. In the same way, so have other projects. Industrial estates, for example. Pollensa’s is far from full. In Alcúdia, the layout was finished a couple of years ago. It stands empty and now blocked to access. The official reason why it is empty has to do with a failure to arrive at agreement over electricity supply, which is ironic, given that it is next to the current power station.

The fact is that some developments are simply unnecessary. Pollensa wants its own auditorium, but why build one when Alcúdia has one with spare capacity? It all comes down to me-too need and suspicions that there might be other factors at play.

The empty industrial estate is next to the Es Foguero ruin, one that became so largely because it was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The project for the old power station has suffered because the time was wrong. Were the museum to be built, it would still, because its design would retain the landscape-offensive chimneys, be in the wrong place. And in the wrong place is where other buildings now are, or they are just plain wrong because they are not needed.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

Bus Passes: Alcúdia’s mayoral candidates

A motley crew. The tall guy, the bloke who looks like a refugee from 70s rock perms, three homely ladies and some geezer who we thought wasn’t going to be there. A motley crew for the motley cobbling-together of justification for existence that is Alcúdia’s Can Ramis building.

They came, they spoke, they concurred (sometimes). The mayoral candidates of Alcúdia. Several species of small and not so small furry and fiery political animals gathered together in the cave of an exhibition room and grooving for the press pictures. At least, at last, here was some point to Can Ramis. It was a burning topic for the citizenry of Alcúdia.

The tall guy, the mayor Jeff Goldblum, also known as Miguel Llompart, said that everything about the building of Can Ramis had been “correcto”. The one among the ranks who had something of the politician “look” about her, if only in a less-terrifying Ann Widdecombe style, was the furry terrier, pawing at the alleged irregularities of the building. But we knew all about Coloma and the Partido Popular’s objections. They were nothing new.

The tall guy, though, let on that Can Ramis had not been intended as a bus station. This was new, as was the admission that the misapprehension the entire town had been under had been a fault of town hall communication. So this explained everything, unlike the plan which had a bus station and the model with the little Dinky buses. Or had I imagined it all? Not that it really matters. It was a waste of money whatever the intention had or hadn’t been.

There were six of them in all. One of them hadn’t been expected. He had not been in the rogue’s gallery of head shots prior to the event, at any rate. Had he gate-crashed perhaps? No, he was the chap from the Esquerra Unida. And what’s the purpose of their existence exactly, other than to be left and united? Still don’t know, though the united left is the only party which will defend workers, or something like that.

It wasn’t trains and boats and planes so much as trains and buses. Ah yes, the train. The one not standing either somewhere near to Alcúdia’s auditorium or the Es Foguero ruin. Here, the main three parties, mayor Goldblum’s Convergència, Ann Widdecombe’s PP and the PSOE of the alarming Brian May lookalike, stood shoulder to shoulder. Not that Coloma could physically stand shoulder to shoulder with the tall guy; only metaphorically.

All three agreed that the government had been wrong regarding the siting of the railway and that the views of Alcúdia had to be respected. One Alcúdia, one train. Not that there is one train and is unlikely to now be one, besides which Brian May, sometimes also referred to as Pere Malondra, reckoned it wasn’t necessary anyway. There are other systems of public transport which can connect Alcúdia to Sa Pobla. Such as? Helicopters perhaps? Silly me. It’ll be a bus of course.

The lady from the Esquerra Republicana, whatever they are, made an unusually useful point. Still about buses, but it was useful nonetheless. Why wasn’t there a bus stop by the newly-terminaled commercial port? Well yes, why isn’t there? Probably because there aren’t any buses which go there, but possibly also because the port with its shiny new terminal has achieved the remarkable. It has actually managed to create less traffic than before.

There was one matter on which the aspiring and perspiring candidates could all sort of come together. Tourism. A longer season was needed. As was an agreement on tourism quality, one suggested by Brian May rather than his proposing something as dramatic as we will Mallorca rock you. Alcúdia offers not just sun and beach but also culture and gastronomy, parroted the Mallorcan socialists lady. How revolutionary. Who would have ever thought of such a thing? I must run the idea past the waddling masses of Bellevue some time. The chap who we didn’t think was going to be there wanted 30% of hotel places open in winter. Though how they might be filled is quite a different matter and therefore one that was not addressed.

The mayoral candidates lit up Can Ramis with their enlightenment. When the official campaign starts, there should be a banner strung high above the street by the town hall. “Vote Llompart, a mayor you can look up to.” Because everyone does, or has to. Alcúdia’s one unique political selling-point. It has the tallest mayor in Mallorca. In the absence of candidates offering any great thoughts, other than about bus stops where buses don’t run, this is about as good a reason as there is for voting for any of them.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

The Darkly Floods Of May

Of the hard-luck stories, the result of the Darkly Floods Of May, more hard luck could not surely have been experienced than at the Drunken Duck. Good weather for them. Ducks, that is. Actually I’m not sure that floods are that great for ducks, especially if they are drunken or happen to be a bar. Russ, having been installed for the season, opens, has a good evening, and then … then apparently finds himself up to his waist in water, various white goods of a commercial style similarly inundated. Things, one trusts, can only get better. And where and when did we once hear something along those lines? More below.

Elsewhere, rather grander edifices also suffered. Not, by the way, that the Drunken Duck isn’t grand, but it does pail – sic – into less than grandeur alongside (were it in fact alongside, which it isn’t) the Can Ramis building. Yep, the Alcúdia world of Lego was also affected by the Great Rains. Not even a budget of in excess of one million euros could prevent ingress, though one might have hoped the million plus might have made it a bit more water-tight. The inundation was not on the scale of the hilariously disastrous Great Palma Metro Flood soon after it opened, but inundation it still was – through the door and through the ceiling … into the tourist office. There are now some rather attractive watermarks on the floor.

One of the more common English from Spanish expressions/words that is used locally is “perfect”, as from “perfecto”, a regular enough interjection in Spanish speech. In the case of the Darkly Floods Of May, perfect it most certainly wasn’t, or indeed “perfick”. And less than perfect is the situation with regard to potato farming. The floods have not helped what has been a difficult time for the potato growers of Sa Pobla who have been protesting against lack of government help. One imagines that they might be protesting some more; the export market, in particular, could be hit hard.

And so to the election. It will be small consolation to Nick Clegg that in Mallorca he had a large amount of support. Not necessarily from an exiled votership, but from the locals, as in Mallorcans. The “Diario” ran a poll, asking who readers would vote for were they able to vote.

I, being the acting returning officer for Alcúdia, Pollensa and all points Mallorca, hereby give notice that the total percentages for David Cameron are 21%, Gordon Brown 25% and Nick Clegg 54%, and that Nick Clegg has been duly elected as Prime Minister in exile in Mallorca.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

Early Doors: Shut on the first day of the season

Yesterday was the first day of the season – I think I might have mentioned this in the previous entry. First day of the season and the first day when tourists flock in. Or so one might hope. But even if they do or don’t suddenly descend on the resorts en masse, the instruments of tourism should, you might also hope, be fully functional.

It’s a Saturday in Alcúdia, the old town. I am passing what was the tourist office near to the town hall building. It has closed and will re-open some time as a health centre, or so I am told. There are notices informing visitors that there is a new office. This doesn’t prevent one set of tourists and then another, a few moments later, trying to get into the silent office. I am in full being-helpful-to tourists mode. I may not actually hug them, but I am on hand to give them a hand. Lucky them. There is a new office, I explain, and give directions, even if they are also on the notices. Thank you, say some Germans. Thank you, say some French. And off they go. I’m the tourists’ new best friend. I wish I hadn’t bothered.

I remembered that I had to go to the horror that is the redeveloped Can Ramis building, the one that houses the new tourist office, and take some photos. So off I go, thinking that I’ll have a word with the tourism folk while I’m there. Can Ramis may be a disaster in terms of architectural misplacement, but as I near it I think that the tourist office looks quite impressive. Big I’s in blue making it clear what it is. Lots of glass showing its interior. This is a good idea. Not intimidating. However … It’s the first day of the season, and the office is shut. To be fair, it does say, on another notice, this one on the door of the new office, that it is closed on Saturdays, but surely, I also think, they could have made an exception on this, the first day of the season.

Having taken a couple of snaps of the rotten building, having been startled by an art exhibition in one of the display areas that looked like it was stuffed full of merchandising for sports companies, having gone upstairs to another exhibition that might just as easily have been housed in a potting shed – given the number of pots that were the exhibits – I head off towards the auditorium. I walk past the reception to the Roman ruins. A group of Swedish tourists are trying the gate. They shouldn’t have bothered. There is, after all, a bloody great padlock on it. First day of the season, and Alcúdia’s main tourist attraction is shut. To be fair, there is a notice saying that it is closed on holidays, and the first of May is one such, but I can’t help but think that they might have made an exception on this, the first day of the season.

It has been remarked before now that at times an impression is given that Mallorca does what it can to put off tourists. This would be unfair to the Pollentia site and especially to the Alcúdia tourist office, but why close on this day, of all days? But them’s will be the rules. Working hours, union regulations, the stiff arm of bureaucracy. Yet here, with this closed office and this closed attraction, you have everything that isn’t quite right with attitudes towards tourism.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

Living In A Box (Re-mix): Architecture in Alcúdia

The quadratic affront to the eye that is the Can Ramis building in Alcúdia old town (12 December: Toy Story – The Can Ramis Building) is an insult of non-contextual brutalism. But it is, after all, only a public building, one forged from functionalism. Nevertheless, it has no redeeming feature when placed against the neo-Gothic of historical buildings, those classified in terms of local “patrimonio” (heritage, to you and me). The straight lines, the vertical and horizontal, the wood, glass and steel form a passionless abscess-in-a-box of royal proportions – “Carlos Carbunculis”.

There is, one has to presume, a whole school of what we might call the new architecture, or what might more accurately be described as Blockism. This Blockist tendency has infiltrated the residential domain, giving rise to and making rise up a cubist collectivist, close-to-communist conformity of form for housing. It might look in place in some post-modernist new town, but in Alcúdia? In Mallorca? A local fascination with and often brilliance with art and graphics has combined the old, the more recent (post-impressionism in art, for example) and the contemporary in fashioning painting, sculpture and design, but the architecture of “now” has turned its back on the vividness of colour and the diversity of cottage, villa and Moorish shapes in creating a Blockist, soulless landscape. Residential housing has been boxed in by the box of a group-thought architectural design authoritarianism, the fascism of the cuboidal, and most of it divested of primary or strong colours.

In Puerto Alcúdia, there is a new development by the Eroski supermarket and on the edge of the Lago Esperanza. It is indicative of this new conformism, one that has sprouted a pre-fabism, spawned by a computer-based template and using the rotate tool to move left, right, up or down. It has been finished off with what looks like a gradient effect from Photoshop. It is Adobe end-of-terrace. It is also redolent of sixties and seventies British town centres or council estates – the national mural of Brent, tiles of competing browns, greys and what may even be blues that looks ripe for some graffiti artist to complement. New, this “artistic” adjunct may look acceptable, though to whom one can’t be quite sure, but give it a year or three or four and it will have acquired an appearance of obsolescence. As for the dwellings, the interiors, the workmanship, the fittings may well all be superior; there’s no reason to suggest otherwise. But this is not the point.

The development has a certain industrial attractiveness. In a different context it might bring forth the plaudits of a local RIBA** equivalent (well, I say might), for example the context of whole new builds on land previously razed by nuclear or even conventional-warhead attack. No, architecturally, it has a utilitarian beauty, if that’s not a contradiction, which it is. But the pursuit of the Blockist new architecture is changing not just the style of the housing stock in Alcúdia (and elsewhere), it is also altering the landscape, taking away that heritage of style and of colour. It is also, via its soullessness, eating away at a social and physical soul that had previously found building expression in the richness of shades of earth, sea, sun and beach. In the further pursuit of a perceived elevation of quality, it is symptomatic of the tourism conundrum – the move away, so we are told, from sea and beach to an abstract and still undefined “newness” of tourism. Architectural allegory.

Stark and lacking sympathy with the natural environment from which came a more traditional architecture and tourism, Blockism is the housing motif for the new age. But as with tourism, there is more than just a slight sense that architecture has lost its way and is striving for form from the seemingly formless, as with whatever the “new” tourism is supposed to be. Lost its way, and lost in AutoCAD and Photoshop.

** RIBA – Royal Institute of British Architects.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.