January Came

The autumn fairs season well under way, planning for the winter fiestas also starts. The most spectacular of these is Sant Sebastià in Palma in January. Palma council has announced the ents, the music acts that will play in various squares around the city. In 2008, the organisers branched out. There was a bit of a hiccup surrounding Earth Wind & Fire who weren’t really Earth Wind & Fire – more Sod Breeze & Damp Squib – but there was an ELO incarnation, all part of a certain internationalisation of the event, itself with the aim, or so it was said, of broadening appeal and attracting more overseas visitors. 

Unfortunately, economic reality has bitten, and the council has had to trim its budgets. The town hall deserves some sympathy – all the ents are, after all, free – but it is a shame that this international element will be missing this January, as it was this year. Sant Sebastià should be the focal event for whatever tourism can be attracted in the fallow month of January, and while it does attract some, a more adventurous line-up might help to boost numbers. For this coming January, the acts read rather like many a Mallorcan fiesta, usual suspects such as Tomeu Penya and a boasting as to how many of the bands will be performing in Catalan. So much for international appeal. Perhaps the tourism authorities might like to consider diverting some of the money they spend on questionable winter promotions to Sant Sebastià and giving it a real boost. Not, though, that this would help the north of the island. But if winter tourism is going to be primarily Palma-centric, then so this fiesta should be given more of an official leg-up.

While it’s fair enough to promote Catalan musicians, one of the great advantages of English-singing acts is that they contribute to a learning of English. Music, as much as other forms of communication, is an effective conduit for stimulating language interest and learning. With this in mind, it is interesting to hear of a report from the Oxford University Press into the study of English and English ability among the people of the Balearics. One out of three have never studied the language, and of those who have, the standards are not necessarily that high. Yet, a great majority of islanders recognise the importance of English. Which is as it should be, not because it makes expats’ lives easier, but because of the fundamental importance of the English-speaking tourism market and the opportunities that the language affords. 

 

Twisting the knife

How much would you spend on a loo-roll holder? Would you even bother? There is something to be said for the loo-roll holder being a largely superfluous item of bathroom furniture. But assuming you might decide that today is the day to go out and acquire that much-needed new holder, would you divvy up 319 euros? Probably not. This, though, is what one such holder in the house of Jaume Matas (following on from yesterday) cost. Twisting the knife indeed, and it was the “Diario” doing so in an hilarious piece about holders, loos and bidets chez Matas. And by the way. Do you know what the Spanish is for lavatory? No? Well, it is “váter”. Think about it.

And if not the former president getting it in the neck, then it must be the recently departed owners who never were of Real Mallorca. Now that Alemany is back in charge, his chaps are giving the books a good once-over. He has lodged a “denuncia” against the Martí Mingarro clan, and one of the slight anomalies to come to light is that the club’s credit cards were used for visits to what the press terms “locales nocturnos”, which may cover a multitude of sins or may not.

Finding Treasure In The Dark

How about this little lot?

Luxury materials, such as oakwood floors and bathrooms of marble; thirty paintings and other art works; leading brands of audio and visual equipment, including eight televisions; a hundred or so handbags; 150 or so suits; 50 pairs of shoes. 

And then this lot.

Polished granite kitchen; more marble in bathrooms; sound-proofing; anti-vapour systems; a hydromassage system; towel radiators in all bathrooms; ambient thermostat for heating and hot water; air-conditioning for cooling and heating; parabolic antenna and television in the lounge, kitchen and bedrooms; TV sockets in the lounge, kitchen and bedrooms; various security and alarm systems; safe; electronic video entrance system; automatic shutters.

For the most part, sounds like an estate agent’s sales pitch for some luxury accommodation. None of it necessarily that unusual. Only when you add on some other items, like documents relating to alleged cases of corruption by some well-known politicians and a copy of a “denuncia” by the wife of one particular well-known politician, accused of mistreating her, do you begin to understand to whom all this relates. Or maybe you don’t. You might of course have been fooled by the shoes. No it’s not Imelda Marcos. It is the ex-president of the Balearic Government and his wife. The first list relates to the so-called “palacete” in Palma, the home of Jaume Matas and missus, where these documents were discovered; the second to an apartment in Madrid. Where the former is concerned, there is another list, a lengthy one of various renovations that were carried out, mostly by a constructor from Sa Pobla. The total cost of the renovations at the palacete, it is said, amount to some 2 million euros. There are, apparently, invoices for a mere 5% of them.

These inventories, itemised in different reports from the “Diario”, have come to light as the consequence of police raids on the Matas’s properties. In an operation named “Buckingham” (not sure why, maybe it has to do with the “palacete”), the Guardia, investigating accusations of corruption levelled against Matas, have been turning over the residences and bringing in art and architectural experts to assist in coming up with the values.

Now you might say, well, he’s a politician and he probably earned a fair wedge. Possibly so, but one presumes that the anti-corruption squad believes that there might be a slight discrepancy between income and property value, to say nothing of those invoices which total only 92,000 euros. 

Matas is under suspicion with regard to a corruption case involving the Palma Arena velodrome, one of any number of major works that were initiated during his presidency from 2003 to 2007. It may be interesting to note that Matas, originally, was a tax inspector, while he was once the head of the Hacienda in the Balearics, during which time there was a previous spate of corruption cases.

The police action will of course continue, but if it turns out that Matas is indeed guilty, and let it be stressed that he is still innocent, then the repercussions could be enormous. This is the former president of the regional government, after all, one sitting on what, for the investigators, is a treasure trove of discovery. The worst of the repercussions would be what it says about the practice of local democracy, about the system of favours and about the sheer endemic nature of dishonesty in local society. Matas is just the latest, but if he has done wrong, he would be the biggest of the local political fish, about which there is more than a hint of the one-time sham system of democracy that operated in Spain in the nineteenth century, that of the “cacique”, the political boss who delivered the required results as part of a system of favours given and received. 

There’s nothing new under a Spanish sun.

No More

Does the regional government have a policy on golf courses? As far as the opposition is concerned, it does not, and it is not difficult to understand why it might think this. On the one hand, there is the tourism minister giving more or less carte blanche for the building of more courses and on the other there is the transport minister saying that no more will be built. He also reckons that the 23 in existence on Mallorca are sufficient and that many of these are under-utilised, a view that it is difficult to disagree with. 

This contrariness is, though, hard to fathom. The tourism ministry’s stance would see, for example, the building of the course in Campos, along, in all likelihood, with a hotel complex. This course might actually make sense, given that Campos has so little by way of tourism. But in the wider scheme of things, i.e. taking the island as a whole, whether any more courses are needed must be open to question, something which, more than the environmental issue, has always dogged the credibility of the building of the Muro course. 

Over the past eighteen months or so, there have been different reports, one saying that the island is “golfed-out” and agreeing that no more are warranted, another reckoning that no-one should be more than 50 minutes from a golf course, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. More courses probably. There has also been the association of golf tour operators saying that the numbers coming to play golf could rise by 15%. And when its president met the tourism minister, the latter forecast a situation in which the Balearics would become the leading golf destination in Europe. 

None of this quite adds up, unless, that is, one accepts that a 15% rise in golfing tourists could be accommodated by current courses, which probably is the case. But as golf is presented as being such an important facet of the so-called “alternative” tourism, the fact that the government seems to be unclear as to its actual policy does seem rather curious.

 

If not golf, then how about half-marathons to swell the tourism masses? Or how about a film festival to do likewise? From next year there will be a half-marathon in Pollensa – in April in fact. And in 2011, also in April, there will be the first Mallorca International Film Festival, which presumably will become an annual event. Both of them are worthy enough, but neither has much to do with improving the winter tourism scene, given that they will both be staged just prior to the start of the main season and that neither will necessarily generate much by way of “new” tourism.

 

And still on a sporting theme … Real Mallorca. Thrice woe, or maybe several times more woe. The latest farce, the selling to the Martí family that has proved not to be a sale as the previous interim owner has not been paid, now sees the club back in the hands of that interim owner, Mateu Alemany. This lawyer is something of a club hero as he regularly pops up to try and dig it out of its latest hole. One might ask if he was perhaps less than diligent in gaining assurances as to the financial capabilities of the Martí family. He accepts that he made a mistake but that the information he had led him to believe that they would prove acceptable. Alemany is right when he says that no-one, least of all in the press, raised any great questions about the family’s ability to finance the club. One thing’s for sure, he will make damn sure that any new owner does have the financial wherewithal, though the questions remain as to what state the club might be in come May when the next sale is projected and as to who might even want the club.

Joy To The World

The tourism dignitaries have gathered in London for the World Travel Market. Today, Balearics Day at the trade fair, will see the premiere of the new Rafael Nadal advert for the Balearics. Let joy be unconfined.

What does any of this achieve? The World Travel Market is, in no small part, a set of shop windows for the industry, one that already knows about Mallorca and the Balearics. The same applies to corporate advertising, of the Nadal style. Not everyone may know about the Balearics, which does of course beg a significant question, but they (the consuming tourist public) know about Mallorca. Both the trade fair and the advertising act, at best, as a means of putting Mallorca in the “front of mind” of the industry and the consumer. But so does that of every other destination.

In “The Sunday Times” at the weekend there was a double-page colour advert for Andalucia. Some of the advertising for this region of Spain has been sensational. Its TV advert, luscious colours, dramatic scenery and vibrant flamenco chill music, was outstanding. But it was still an advert for a region. Just as advertising, of the Nadal variety, is for a region. It may all create attention and therefore, possibly, some action, but that is all it does. 

In the case of the Andalucia advert, there is a scrawled blurb across the two pages: “I want you to share my energy, my happiness, my strength, my warmth … A thousand monuments beyond compare. And just one question: When are you coming?” This last bit, the question, is the only good part of this. The rest is utterly ridiculous and pretentious. An attempt to make personal the impersonal, supported by a photo of a beach at sunset and a church in daytime. Whatever good it may achieve is undone by a small logo at the bottom which refers to “Junta de Andalucia”. Someone might have pointed out that the word “junta” has negative connotations where the British are concerned. 

Be this as it may. Advertising for Andalucia, for Turkey, for Egypt, for wherever you may care to mention, it all follows the same pattern. Mediterranean destinations tout the same things, the same sorts of images; they display warmth, sun, sea, culture, people, scenery. There is no differentiation. It is why much of the advertising is questionable. Its main purpose is to be there. In other words, it would be conspicuous by its absence. 

This advertising is part aspirational and part image-making, but it fits a particular aspirational class and one attracted by a specific image. For all that it is intended to promote the whole gamut of a destination’s offer, it does nothing of the sort. Holidaymakers are not a homogeneous group. They differ in all manner of respects. For this reason and for all the attention that gets paid to the Nadal-style corporate advertising (by the media and letter writers), it can only ever act as a starting-point (if that) or as a reinforcement to those already familiar with the island. 

How do those who sanction this promotion believe that the process then works? Do they assume that there exists a hierarchical decision-making system? At the top comes Nadal, then there is a series of moves before the holidaymaker chooses a specific resort or hotel. Is this how it is meant to work? If it doesn’t, and I don’t believe it does, then what’s the point of the thing at the top? This is how it used to work, back in the days when the family would be assaulted by Boxing Day adverts, opt for Mallorca and then head off to the nearest travel agency and pretty much have the choice of resort and hotel made for them.

Consumers take more or less as read the elements of a Mediterranean destination, be it Mallorca, Andalucia or wherever. They do so because the advertising and the images are essentially the same. As much as some consumers may work down from image advertising, they also work upwards, if not more so, in making their choices, without necessarily specifying a destination. And they all have different priorities, the satisfying of which is made in no small part through the informal channels of the internet – the forums, the blogs, the this, the that. The choice of a Turkey over a Mallorca lies largely with word of mouth, with a critical mass of recommendation, with a curious incuriosity that is the consequence of somewhere having become the latest in-place, and with a sense of “oh, let’s give that a try”. And much of this is predicated on price, on hotel (often all-inclusive), on specific offers, on what there is for the kids and all the rest. It is with the very detail of the holiday that the decision lies, not with the broad sweep of a Nadal on a yacht.

The tourism chiefs have singularly failed to understand the new dynamic of holiday decision-making or to appreciate the subversive influence of the internet; subversive in that, though these chiefs see the immense value of internet promotion, the internet acts independently of the corporate advertising. The real challenge lies in attempting to formalise the informal, of working this subversive element so that it favours a particular destination, and not just an island or a region, but a resort or even a particular complex. These chiefs need to cotton on to the reality of how consumers function on the internet, through social networks and so on, and to exploit these subversive factions themselves. If they don’t, all that lavish spending on corporate advertising is a waste.

I’ll Drink All Day

Jeremy’s at it again. At times, I do wonder if he tries a bit too hard at being contrary and offensive. Rather like Littlejohn, I’m not totally convinced that he believes half of what he says. But in Clarkson-land, the expat life is one, as he puts it, in which an expat has “a nose like a burst beetroot” and who wonders if “it’s okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning”. There is a bit of familiarity about this. Did not A.A. Gill, in the same newspaper (“The Sunday Times”), make a similar observation about the early-morning drinking habits of expats on the Costas when he undertook his character assassination of Keith Floyd? And when, what must be about three years ago now, Alexei Sayle (in “The Independent”) demolished Leapy Lee, there was reference, to “some minor expat singer with a criminal record and views tailor-made for his audience of drink-sozzled, golf-playing Costa Brits”. 

For Jezza, any expat in Spain is, basically, a criminal. Weighing up the options as to countries to which the British might wish to emigrate in order to escape Peter Mandelson, he rules out Spain for his reader on the grounds that “you’re not called Del and you weren’t involved in the Walthamstow blag”. In fact, he rules out everywhere, but for different reasons. 

This crim and booze image might be all a tad tiresome if it weren’t for the fact that it is quite funny and not without some element of truth. I can think of at least one Del. When his bar had to be evacuated and some of the contents dispensed with, there was some slight apprehension as to the exact source of some of the items on offer. Del is an appropriate enough name, given the ubiquity of “Fools And Horses” and of DVDs bearing the title, not all of which bring with them a payment to BBC Worldwide. All these Dels selling dodgy Del DVDs to some bloke called Del. But whereas one who had committed the Walthamstow blag might be residing in Benalmádena, he would be most unlikely to be in Alcúdia or Puerto Pollensa as only people from Leicester or Hull live in Alcúdia or, for some bizarre reason, from Kilmarnock in the case of Puerto Pollensa.

Now that the season has finished, and the Dels have either had to make swift their escape from Spanish territory and its coastal waters, or handed back the keys, or sold off the Sky system, or all of these, there is the opportunity for those who remain to take to the only bars staying open and indulge in a little 10am sharpening, which can go on to, well, 10pm. Normally, such intake would be curbed by a couple of hours in season, but now they can join the retired Dels and Mrs Dels (Raquels presumably) who make no concession to hours by a bar; summer or winter, they are the same. Actually, I exaggerate. There may be a few soaks and the occasional burst beetroot but other than the odd beer or glass of wine, it is not that common to see your expat imbibing much more than a coffee in the mornings or indeed in the afternoons. The Jezza (and Gill) image is overstated, as is the crim angle. Yep, there are one or two of them, but sadly, though it’s a funny line, I’m afraid I have to tell Jeremy that it’s not strictly accurate. And just as an aside … Someone who met Jezza on the day of the rally in Mallorca said that he, Jezza, admitted to having a colossal hangover. I’m sure that’s not true and that he misheard.

 

Those of a criminal bent may have discovered that they can no longer use their mobile phones. As of yesterday, any unregistered mobile was cut off. This means that all those pay-as-you-go mobiles, which had not been registered (all phones under contract were and are registered), are now useless except for 112 emergency calls. The thinking behind this was that the unregistered mobile was the communication device of choice for the crim or terrorist, neither of whom would be likely to be making 112 calls unless they are issuing a warning as to a bomb going off. Some 25% of pay-as-you-go phones, representing some four million users, remain unregistered, so the Spanish government has extended by six months the period in which registration can be effected, allowing the user to keep his or her number.

Napoleon Did Surrender

Good God, he’s back again. Is there nowhere that does not provide a photo opportunity for Enviro Man? The latest jaunt? There amidst some scrubland in the S’Albufereta, along with the mayors of Alcúdia and Pollensa. Environment minister Grimalt sharing the camera lens with his mayoral compatriots in the Unió Mallorquina, all in the name of environmental recuperation. 

Albufereta, in case you don’t know, is the little Albufera to be found to the side of the coastal road between Alcúdia and Puerto Pollensa. Basically, it’s much the same as the Albufera of Playa de Muro except much smaller, without a reception centre and without anything remotely worth looking at. It is an area that has, apparently, been classified as a recuperation priority by the European Union. Over a hundred thousand euros have been earmarked for the first phase – that of getting rid of rubbish that has accumulated and re-establishing the water land area known as Can Cullerassa which takes its name, or is it the other way round, from the stretch of beach and which also lends its name to the restaurant, albeit that this is called Can Cuarassa – not sure how that works, but apparently it is so.

It was reassuring that the photo opp in the “Diario” did not show Enviro Man and his fellow camera fodder wearing masks. Back in March, it was revealed that there was a bit of a problem with E.coli in the water of Albufereta, something which led to a sign being covered with the word “contaminado”, which one assumed was not an official addition to the sign. 

 

In a quite different matter environmental, Enviro Man’s ministry, according to “The Bulletin”, is coming in for a bit of a bashing from the local Chamber of Commerce for refusing to grant permission for the island of Cabrera to be used as a location for a film with Al Pacino about Napoleon. This is in fact the long-awaited adaptation of the children’s book by Staton Rabin, “Betsy And The Emperor”, which will also feature Emma Watson, as Betsy. I say “long-awaited” only because the film has been talked about for at least four years.

Cabrera is the largest of the small archipelago off the southern coast of Mallorca, all of which is deemed to be a nature reserve, one to which there is little by way of excursion. The regular population of Cabrera is under 100, and the ecosystem is considered that fragile that diving is forbidden. But the argument goes that filming there would not have any harmful effect, which may possibly be true, while production teams are generally pretty assiduous when it comes to tidying up after themselves and are also not unknown for being quite generous in terms of paying for locations, a possible additional source of revenue, therefore, for promoting the island, one might have thought. Moreover, goes the argument, using Cabrera would be beneficial in showing off some excellent landscape and thus attracting further tourism. Which may also be true, but not for Cabrera as such, while cinema-goers would probably need to know that Napoleon was on an island off Mallorca and not on an island in the Atlantic, as the film will be about his exile in St. Helena. 

Maybe though the objection has to do with the fact that Enviro Man would not himself appear; for newspaper photographers read also film camera crews. But it might be possible for him to get a walk-on as an extra or something, planting a sign to the effect of “this scene sponsored by the Balearic Government’s environment ministry on the island of Cabrera near to Mallorca”. That might do the trick, so long as no-one comes along and adds “contaminado” to the sign.

Same Old Story

Just as sure as night follows day and as Real Mallorca slump from one financial crisis to the next, so the winter tourism woes arouse a regular “Bulletin” statement about the need for a “bit of imagination”. Oh, the imagination of calling for a bit of imagination. But against a backdrop of the regional government’s tourism minister bemoaning the fact that he has only a mere 30 million or so to spend on promotion, I do agree with the view in the same piece in the paper that diverting a large part of that wad towards Rafa Nadal makes arguable sense. Has the presence of the Manacor muscle made any discernible difference to Mallorcan and Balearic tourism since he has been used for advertising? No, I don’t imagine it has. Much as Nadal may be an obvious “face” of local tourism, perhaps that’s the problem. It’s so obvious, no-one takes any notice. There is also the problem that, Mallorcan boy though he is, his world is quite different to that of most mere tourism mortals who do not earn vast fortunes on the tennis circuit and take to yachts bouncing across the waves off the south coast of the island. It’s all a matter of making a connection. They should scrap the whole thing; it isn’t working.

The paper goes on by reckoning that half this promotion budget should be thrown at winter tourism. All well and good, but not much use if the airlines don’t fly, the hotels don’t open and bars and restaurants are shut. And doubly not much use when aspects of the winter scene are currently so poorly promoted. Let me give an example. The regional government’s tourism website is meant to give information about the so-called “Winter in Mallorca” programme. This may not amount to a lot, but it still amounts to something. There is a PDF of the monthly schedule of events. For October. November’s has still to be uploaded. That’s how good promotion gets. 

Whether winter or summer, the internet does, nevertheless, hold the clue to much promotional effort. Elsewhere in the paper, it says that the tourism minister is looking to exploit the internet. Good for him, even if the omens are not good. As ever, there is reference to cultural, gastronomic and sports tourism – all the same old thing – as well as to online reservations. It is not as if there are not already innumerable ways of booking via the internet. It makes one despair if this is all the tourism ministry has to say. Then there are the sites themselves. As with the Nadal advertising, which itself features on the Balearics tourism site, there is a sense of making people feel good about all this – the people being the tourism authorities themselves. Look at us! We’re doing something! 

The informational style of websites, allied to advertising, is largely old hat. For all the good it does, the tourism authorities would be better off placing promotions on the likes of Alpharooms and all the other booking agencies which are just as important, if not more, than the corporate websites for the Balearics and Mallorca. But for all this, there is a complete failure to recognise the shift in internet usage – towards Web 2.0 and towards social networks. Even if there were to be the odd myspace created, chances are it would be done half-heartedly and moreover with a non-native speaker controlling it and therefore communicating incorrectly with the target audiences, be they British, German, Russian or whatever. 

Were the tourism bods to appreciate that there is a whole different way of conveying messages and interactively communicating with the markets, they could build a far more meaningful internet presence. But they are most unlikely to. And the reasons why not lie with, yes, that lack of imagination, but also the obsession with corporate-style sites that are operations in promotional self-aggrandizement. 

I have a solution to the tourism minister’s lack of funding. Slash the budget even more and then make them think how they can make their money work harder. Because currently, there is no evidence that throwing greater amounts at promotion would be any more valuable. You would end up with more Nadal, more elaborate promotional literature stacked up in the tourism offices, itself largely an exercise in job creation for all those who can find no other employment than design, and more of the same informational, corporate websites.

November Rain

The first cold winds blow. Like the sudden leap in temperatures in spring can catch you by surprise, so the transformation from pretend late summer takes you unawares. But unlike the spring, the change makes you wince and you remember how houses’ heat retention in summer gives way to the inadequacy of insulation and the chill of interiors. Storms have different consequences. In November, they bring a fast descent in temperature and what can even look like snow but is in fact hail. 

The air that in summer engulfs and smothers now just hangs, damp and rheumatic. Though the sun and warmth will return during the winter, the dampness is now a constant, insinuating into bones and brickwork. The floods of storms leave the streets and roads mud patches of piled sand turned a constituent of cement. Yet, the storms wash away and clean the sky of the last haze of summer; it becomes bright and transparent, late-afternoon sun wrapping the peaks of the Artà mountains in a fire glow, beacons across the bay where in the other direction the Tramuntana tops, in their barrenness, look to hold snow but is just light on grey that can make them seem snowy even in summer. 

There is a smell of wood-burning. It competes with the shifting sulphurous scents of the wetlands, drifting into cracks and lying on the liquid atmosphere, awaiting a further smack of thunder and an avalanche of cleansing rain. Winter comes now. It makes moss and algae the flagstones and walls, a sign, though, of the purity of the air. The first cold winds of winter. And you think of spring and that first assault of heat and wonder how it can ever be winter.

 

TUI price reductions

TUI may not have had anything to add to the reprimand issued by Thomas Cook to the Spanish Government over the rise in IVA, but the company has reacted to the uncertain economic circumstances by announcing that prices for holidays to Mallorca will fall by some 5.5% next year. In Menorca, where the tourism market is considerably less favourable, prices will go down by 10%. Good news you might think, and it is, but the boss of TUI Germany, making this announcement (he was the one, you will recall, who helped to plant the first pine in the TUI forest) admits that there will be more tourists coming on an all-inclusive basis in 2010. But not all is lost as there won’t be anything like the numbers travelling all-inclusive as there are to Turkey. 

While there is all the angst about all-inclusives in Mallorca, one does wonder at the impact of such a style of offer across Europe and into Turkey. Greece, for example, has been hard hit by the increase in AI. Consumers may be demanding this undoubtedly cost-effective way of holidaying, but what type of tourism will this all lead to? It is becoming increasingly clear that holidays are being sourced less on the basis of resort or country but from the point of view of the best AI deal. The actual destination is becoming less relevant. It is often said, in criticism of AI, that the holidaymaker who stays largely within the confines of his or her AI complex, could be anywhere. And so it would seem. Mallorca, Greece, Turkey – it’s all the same, just varies in how hot it is and what brands of booze can be obtained. Is this really what tourism should be? Destinations as dumping grounds for northern Europeans who hand over most of the holiday cost to tour operators and airlines? Most of Mediterranean Europe becomes a collection of resorts, polarised by those who live there and the wristband brigade who pay no attention to their surroundings. I’m not sure that this was how it was meant to be.

Grantchester Meadows

In Cambridgeshire there is a golf course which is completely organic. You’ll have to forgive me, I missed the name of the course, but there was a report about it on Five Live the other day. I emailed the station to ask if they could send me the name, but … . Anyway, the point about this is that it demonstrates the extent to which golf developments are being planned in a way that they have strong environmental elements. The course itself has separate meadows for flowers and birds, while a river attracts numerous types of wild fowl. The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has been involved in the planning of the course, and the representative from the RSPB said that, though golf courses can be harmful to the environment, managed correctly there is no reason why courses cannot co-exist happily with nature. 

Instinctively, I’m inclined to believe this. A development that just ploughs up habitats unthinkingly is no good, and this may well have been the case in the past: one thinks of all the conversion of unproductive agricultural land in Britain that was turned over to golfers. Yet, why shouldn’t the two make for environmental bedfellows? In the Cambridgeshire case, the golfers themselves are said to be all in favour because of the ambience created, while apparently the Royal and Ancient now have firm environmental management policies.

One says all this in connection with courses in Mallorca, especially those in the planning or to be developed, such as the one in Muro about which there has been such a protracted environmental hoo-hah. Things have gone pretty quiet on the Son Bosc development front, but the Gobby lobby have had its latest objection rejected, one that centred on a less-than-favourable report by its own people being ignored by the environment ministry. 

I have never understood why there has been such a fuss, other than the fact that the course might turn out to be a white elephant. From an environmental point of view, it surely can be made to work. Perhaps the Muro developers should be talking to those in Cambridgeshire who are making it work. 

 

Continuing Columbus

And ever more on the Columbus story, and once again thanks to Dom for his feedback on this. There is a blog site – http://www.medievalnews.blogspot.com – which would be good for any of you who might have a general interest in history, but specifically it ran a thing on 26 October entitled “Scholar casts doubt on claims that Columbus was a Catalan”. This reports views of a Dr. Diana Gilliland Wright who questions the significance of a particular form of punctuation used by Columbus and said to be indicative of Catalan of the time. She says that this was used elsewhere, for instance by the Venetians who were of course Italian, even if Venice is some distance from Genoa. Moreover, she says that spelling at that time was “fluid”, which does to a degree support my own view that Columbus could very easily have acquired a “polyglot tongue” especially if his written works were grafted onto what was effectively a blank canvas as native Genoese did not have a written language as such.

 

Light Up The Sky

‘Tis that time of the year. There is even a Bonfire Night tomorrow night at the Mallorca Cricket Club (“the island’s premier ex-pat community family event , it says: why do they spell expat with a hyphen; it’s one word). But note that it is Bonfire Night, not Guy Fawkes. We’ve stopped having guys. We don’t burn effigies. Or do we? Somewhere in Surrey, they put Jordan to the flame yesterday. What a splendid idea, all that silicone exploding, while a touch of satire, rather like the giant heads in Mallorca at fiesta time, are often satirical representations of local politicians and others. Makes me think. Who would I burn? A couple of clients I can think of could do with a good dousing. Who would you burn? Step forward – probably – Gordon and any number of MPs, but otherwise … ?

So Lonely

Where are you planning on going on holiday in 2010? This might sound a daft question. Surely, you will be saying to yourselves, that here is this blog, purporting to have something to do with Mallorca, and I’m being asked where I might be going. The answer has, of course, to be Mallorca. Well, no, you would be wrong. “The Bulletin” is equally something to do with Mallorca, but it ran this thing the other day about the ten best destinations in the world, and not one of them was Mallorca, or indeed Spain. This was all based on what the Lonely Planet has to say. 

Top of the list, apparently, is El Salvador, a country in central America whose only claim to fame is that it went to war with Honduras over a football match. There was a photo that supported El Salvador’s bid for top place. Sun, sea, a few rocks, some sand and a part of a palm that, as always, is artistically shown in the foreground. Could have been anywhere really, except Morecambe. Or maybe they’ve got palms in Morecambe now, and even some sun.

And coming in second is, wait for it, Germany, a country that has much to commend it, but as a holiday destination? Actually, there are many places in Germany that would qualify. Freeze to death on the Baltic Sea for example, on that island to where nudists fly from Erfurt – kit off. And given that all Germans should be coralled onto other planes and made to fly to Mallorca, going in the opposite direction would be a case of taking former Chancellor Kohls to Neuerburg – or something like that.

One can’t help but feel that there is something not quite right about a recommended list of holiday destinations in a Mallorcan paper that fails to include Magaluf as one of its top ten cities. Then there are the top “regions” in the world, as designated by the oh so Lonely Planet, one of them being southern Africa. What, all of it? Including Zimbabwe? You don’t need to go that far to get some good, honest corruption. Just spend a few days in the political corridors of Palma, while it’s far cheaper to travel, your money won’t devalue by the minute and you won’t be attacked somewhere that has no rule of law and that is run by a total lunatic; at least I don’t think you would be.

 

Enviro Man

They see him here, they see him there, they see Enviro Man everywhere. Yep, it’s him again. Hardly a day passes without the environment minister, Sr. Grimalt, being photographed at some event or other. At the weekend, he was at it again, this time in Albufera, where some rare ducks were being released. In the minister’s favour, one can at least says that he does actually see a lot of the environment, which probably does come with the job. But what with a walkway opening one day, a tree planting the next and a duck flapping the following day, how does the minister’s carbon footprint stack-heel up? Perhaps he takes the ministerial pushbike, though one doubts it. Could they not maybe have a pretend minister who attends these functions? A cardboard cutout and relay his messages of support from an organically controlled bunker somewhere in Palma. Or one of those local giant things that they have at fiestas, suitably adorned with an environment minister head. Or even an inflatable minister. In fact, why not have a cabinet of inflatables. Just pump them up wherever some event is going on. And then they may as well get rid of the real ducks as well, and bring on the rubber ones from Can Picafort.

Of course the minister might, in the future, have been able to have taken a more environmentally friendly train journey to Albufera. But not once his chum in the Unió Mallorquina, mayor Ferrer of Alcúdia, said not in my northern corridor, the mayor of course preferring the southern corridor, that which would have terminated by those rare ducks’ patch and maybe terminated them in the process. Bring on the rubber ducks.